WTF?

Ok, so I was at Buffalo Billiards on Thursday celebrating my graduation from Nutrition School while downing several shots/drinks/unhealthy shit when I had been approached by an admirer of my shirt. Throughout the night I would receive random compliments because most people 'got the memo', while others were so far off the mark and I just had to laugh.

Folks, it's a sad commentary when people think that Carlton Banks is either Martin Luther King or Barack Obama. But you know, ALL BLACK PEOPLE LOOK ALIKE... ;-)

Don't get mad... It's GENETICS

CP TIME

The usually correct stereotype that African-Americans are incapable of punctuality, and are chronically tardy in both arriving at and beginning events and functions.

Shit is real, son... I tried to hip my Anglo friends to this and they still aren't hearing me. Let's discuss...

Now, I am GENERALLY on time to things but every now and then a bitch is late. Super late. Late like you'll call me and I should already be there but I'm just getting my fro right in the mirror and haven't walked out the house late. Shit happens. I blame GENETICS. But then again, I can't really do that because I'm 1/4 Indian and a 1/4 Scottish. I blame the half that make me whole. ANYWAYS...

I state this simply to impart unto you that you should not get mad at your African American friends. Rather, you should add an extra, let's say, 30 minutes into your appointed meeting time.

Let's role play:

BECKY: Let's meet like at 6:30! Ok?
ME:Ok!
BECKY: (to self) I'm gonna meet this bizznitch at 7, cuz I know her ass will be on CP TIME.
BECKY: See you at 6:30 girl!

7 pm rolls around and BECKY is walking into the appointed destination...

ME: Girllll! You just got here! Me too!
BECKY: (to self) EXACTLY!

This way, no one gets mad. Try it sometime...


THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT SPONSORED BY THE "WE ARE SCHOOLING YOU MOFO'S" COILITION. IF YOU DON'T KNOW, NOW YA KNOW...

that's a goddamn angryass cat.

Presidential Motorcades... FAWK!!!

This is a rant, so gauge yourself accordingly...

I'M SO TIRED OF RUNNING INTO THIS SHIT!!! ARE CHENEY AND BUSH FOLLOWING ME? WTF?

I am soooooooooooooooooooooo completely done with Presidential Motorcades! Dogeater and I had a discussion about this yesterday... These fuckers need to sit in traffic like the rest of us! You mean to tell me it takes about 10 cops on motorcycles, 5 SUV's and an additional 10 cop cars to transport these fuckers to the White House? Are you kidding me?

Ok, I get it that I live about 4 1/2 blocks from the White House, but damn. Nobody wants Bush or Cheney. Hell, I'd be that bitch that would flick them off if sitting at a light next to their limo. Trust.

Whats worse is they always 'get me' when I'm late for some shit, (like work) or coming home and really not feeling some bullshit. Isn't there an underground transit system for Gov't officials? I know one runs from the Pentagon. My pops hipped me to this when he was in the military and testified before the Senate. Shit, Bush and Cheney need to work from home. It's not like they are doing anything relevant anyways. Telecommute dammit.

Stop wasting my time and my fucking commute. I have more important shit to do than to look at a whole bunch of flashing lights and noise fuckery while these shitheads get to their destination and further fuck up this nation.

RANT ACCOMPLISHED. DONE AND DONE.

Yeah, we were BORED...

So, my tagline says:

"Al Gore invented the internet, and global warming too..."

and Dogeater hits me up with the following:


Dogeater: sigh al gore didn't invent the internet or global warming
that's just foolish
...he invented the question mark
clearly

me: Al Gore invented pink unicorns and rainbows, dammit
stop hating

Dogeater: hahahahahahaha

TARD HAIKU...

*haven't posted a haiku in a minute, so here goes...



LOSERS
---------

What the hell is this?
A ration on common sense?
Done with fucking tards...

;-)