Brain, rubbed....Wrong? Part 1

Ahhh so here I am again...opening fresh bag of potato chips, preparing to swim amidst its greasy goodness. Helplessly submitting to the under toe of creativity as it gently molests my fingers...

...and blank. =/

What the hell am I supposed to write about? My first blog has to set the pace for all that precedes this noble venture and I can't think of a friggan thing. IDEAS SIR?

This I pondered for all of about 32 seconds before I was literally dumbstruck with delight over my present situation, which has ultimately led me to my very, very, very first topic.

PEOPLE TRY TOO HARD...

I mean, you can literally add this equation to most, if not all modern humans who are trying to be the best, funniest, brightest.....even dumbest. You really don't have to strain your eyes to see this everyday in the city, tv, inter-nerd and where ever else your decide to get you daily dose of grande soy vanill.....STOP!!!

So on with the show....

Now, I particularly like shallow, completely useless females that feel as though the need to look like a super model from Sweet Valley High to go to a regular bar...or anywhere for that matter....expecting to meet the Fresh Prince himself.

You see, there are two questions one must ask themself if they are faced with this sort of situation. What's this grandiose display of vanity anyway? What kind of results do you really expect to achieve out of all this? Because the message you are putting out, which you may or may not be aware of, is only appealing to a males animalistic sexuality, nothing more. As soon as you open your mouth to say one word, a guy, such as myself, has lost all confidence of being able to hold a remotely interesting conversation beyond what is perceived as petty, superficial and unsophisticated.

We have a name for these females and that name is 'Becky'. Why Becky? Because I've never met a Becky that didn't act exactly like any other Becky I knew several years ago? Their stupidity is beyond degenerative and I'm silently laughing every time I meet a new one.

Now onto Guys. GUYS? What is up with this metro, emo stuff, seriously? Whatever happened to just being fine with being a man? A man that doesn't care about designer frames, furniture, shoes, shampoo....etc (and this list can definitely go on, but for the sake of simplicity). A real man knows how to shine his shoes with Boones Farm....ok outlandish, but I'm only supporting my argument that this is ridiculous. When I go downtown on a Friday or Saturday night, I'm perplexed how anybody can tell the difference from one guy to the next, as everyone is wearing a button down collared shirt or tee shirt, black blazer, jeans and brown shoes (...4real, make a mental note and observe for yourself next weekend, you'll be amazed by this new found power of observation)

...and for Christ Sake, where is the originality? Did it disappear with the Indians?

Needless to say, I'm not going to place the blame on you all solely, as modern females generally support this behavior, promoting more feminine like qualities on their men. THIS HOWEVER IS EVIL and exactly opposite of what real men should be doing. Ever hear of opposites attract? Be a rebel, be fucking bad. You'll get more attention and can thank me later, by cash, credit or Paypal.

So as months go by, this will inevitably become an ongoing rant and rave. If however you decide you use your new found observation powers and feel you have something add, by all means, email me in legible, educated English and I may decide to make you a star.

...until then, first work on not giving a shit.

-END