DC Bums Hate Me...

I love messing with DC Bums. It's like a sick form of entertainment to me for some reason. If you are going to approach me and bum a cig or ask for $, you will most definitely have to work for that shit. I encourage everyone to do the same, because fuckery almost always ensues. Here is one such encounter that took place outside of RFD's a couple of weekends ago:

BUM: Yo, can I get a smoke off any of you?
JEN: No
JEN'S FRIEND KRISSY: No
BUM: Why?
JEN: Because I need them. Cigarettes are expensive. Don't you know that we are in a recession?
BUM: Well sista, can I get one of yours?
ME: No. I need my cigs.
BUM: Thats messed up. You all will get cancer.
JEN: Shit, I'm more likely to get hit by a bus or something.
ME: I guess you want cancer too.
BUM: I see. You know, I'm educated like all of ya'll. I went to school. I'm smart like you too.
ME: Really? Where did you go to school?
BUM: Georgetown.
ME: Georgetown? As in Georgetown University?
BUM: Yes, Georgetown. I was there on a basketball scholarship!
ME: Word? What did you major in?
BUM: Huh?
ME: WHAT WERE YOU GOING THERE TO GET A DEGREE IN?
BUM: I got injured playing ball and had to leave.
ME: Umm, you didn't answer my question. What kind of classes did you take?
BUM: Partying 101
ME: Ok... I can dig that.
BUM: Shiiiiiiiiiit. (quite loudly and doing some pseudo George Jefferson stroll) I MAJORED IN HAVING FUN! THERE! I FUCKING MAJORED IN HAVING MOTHER FUCKIN FUN!!!
AND YOU ARE STILL GONNA GET CANCER!
ME: Ok